DOG PRESIDENT

Characters (in order of appearance):

NARRATOR

DOG PRESIDENT (formerly DOG)

BARACK OBAMA

REPORTER

SECRET SERVICE AGENT

KIM JONG-IL, VLADIMIR PUTIN, and MAHMOUD AHMADINEJAD

ADVISOR

MILITARY GENERAL

—-

NARRATOR: It is the year 2012. DOG has swept the election. DOG has become DOG PRESIDENT.

Lights brighten, revealing DOG PRESIDENT and BARACK OBAMA inside the oval office.

BARACK OBAMA: Congratulations, DOG PRESIDENT.

DOG PRESIDENT looks at BARACK OBAMA.

BARACK OBAMA: Well, I guess it’s time for me to go.

A REPORTER bursts in, followed by SECRET SERVICE AGENT.

REPORTER: DOG PRESIDENT! DOG PRESIDENT! How do you feel about being a dog, and the president?

DOG PRESIDENT looks at REPORTER.

SECRET SERVICE AGENT: What are you doing here? This is a secure area.

SECRET SERVICE AGENT uses his taser on REPORTER.

SECRET SERVICE AGENT: Sorry about that, DOG PRESIDENT.

DOG PRESIDENT licks SECRET SERVICE AGENT’s shoes.

SECRET SERVICE AGENT: Aww.

BARACK OBAMA laughs.

—-

ACT II

Lights brighten, revealing KIM JONG-IL, VLADIMIR PUTIN, and MAHMOUD AHMADINEJAD inside some kind of cave. 

NARRATOR: MAHMOUD AHMADINEJAD, VLADIMIR PUTIN, and KIM JONG-IL are plotting something in hushed tones. 

KIM JONG-IL: …Something evil.

MAHMOUD AHMADINEJAD: Yes, something evil. What do you think, VLADIMIR PUTIN?

VLADIMIR PUTIN: I agree. We should do something. Something…evil.

—-

ACT III

Lights brighten, revealing DOG PRESIDENT and ADVISOR inside the oval office.

NARRATOR: It is the year 2014. DOG PRESIDENT has thwarted an attack on the United States.

Enter MILITARY GENERAL

MILITARY GENERAL: That was some good shooting back there, DOG PRESIDENT. 

DOG PRESIDENT looks at MILITARY GENERAL.

ADVISOR: You will certainly win the election now.

DOG PRESIDENT looks at ADVISOR.

FIN