Characters (in order of appearance):
NARRATOR
DOG PRESIDENT (formerly DOG)
BARACK OBAMA
REPORTER
SECRET SERVICE AGENT
KIM JONG-IL, VLADIMIR PUTIN, and MAHMOUD AHMADINEJAD
ADVISOR
MILITARY GENERAL
—-
NARRATOR: It is the year 2012. DOG has swept the election. DOG has become DOG PRESIDENT.
Lights brighten, revealing DOG PRESIDENT and BARACK OBAMA inside the oval office.
BARACK OBAMA: Congratulations, DOG PRESIDENT.
DOG PRESIDENT looks at BARACK OBAMA.
BARACK OBAMA: Well, I guess it’s time for me to go.
A REPORTER bursts in, followed by SECRET SERVICE AGENT.
REPORTER: DOG PRESIDENT! DOG PRESIDENT! How do you feel about being a dog, and the president?
DOG PRESIDENT looks at REPORTER.
SECRET SERVICE AGENT: What are you doing here? This is a secure area.
SECRET SERVICE AGENT uses his taser on REPORTER.
SECRET SERVICE AGENT: Sorry about that, DOG PRESIDENT.
DOG PRESIDENT licks SECRET SERVICE AGENT’s shoes.
SECRET SERVICE AGENT: Aww.
BARACK OBAMA laughs.
—-
ACT II
Lights brighten, revealing KIM JONG-IL, VLADIMIR PUTIN, and MAHMOUD AHMADINEJAD inside some kind of cave.
NARRATOR: MAHMOUD AHMADINEJAD, VLADIMIR PUTIN, and KIM JONG-IL are plotting something in hushed tones.
KIM JONG-IL: …Something evil.
MAHMOUD AHMADINEJAD: Yes, something evil. What do you think, VLADIMIR PUTIN?
VLADIMIR PUTIN: I agree. We should do something. Something…evil.
—-
ACT III
Lights brighten, revealing DOG PRESIDENT and ADVISOR inside the oval office.
NARRATOR: It is the year 2014. DOG PRESIDENT has thwarted an attack on the United States.
Enter MILITARY GENERAL
MILITARY GENERAL: That was some good shooting back there, DOG PRESIDENT.
DOG PRESIDENT looks at MILITARY GENERAL.
ADVISOR: You will certainly win the election now.
DOG PRESIDENT looks at ADVISOR.
FIN
